Anyway, I don't have much news. So, I apologise for being borng. Newest music obsession would have to be with Magic Dirt, especially 'Watch out Boys' I think it's pro. I think I'm starting to find a type of music and sticking to it rather than being misunderstood and confused by some people. I want to buy an electric guitar, enough of this shitty acoustic crap, well maybe for special occassions.

-
by Tanya @ 2/25/2004 01:54:00 PM

Sorry for not updating, I just haven't been interesting enough to talk about lately. Anyway, just here for the apology. Seeya :)

-
by Tanya @ 2/23/2004 10:54:00 PM

I had one of those 'amazing, incredible and realistic' dreams last night. Ugh, your probably going to laugh at me for being corny, but I'll admit, it was about Ben. I don't really remember much of the earlier stuff, all I really remember was that, we were kissing. What made it realistic? Well, it was so cool because I could feel the softness of his lips and the feeling of my tounge being inside his mouth and the feeling of his tounge against mine. It was actually one of those 'I'm in absolute bliss and it's perfect' dreams. Oh it was wonderful, pity though that Dad woke me up...argh I want him to suffer the angst for disturbing my oh so pleasant dream.

hmm, I've started having a wierd sleeping pattern. Like, I sleep for hours and hours and when i wake up it feels like I've only had a half an hour nap. My eyes are caning and it really hurts :(

Oh God, Hi-five to Liz Phair, she's pro! Not almost as pro as Ben, but she's bonza! Ooh, I've also taken liking to Pete Murrary's 'So Beautiful' song. It relaxes me and it's very nice. He's got a very soft singing voice :)

Anyway, I think I'm going to go make some herbal tea or whatever, I've gotten all twitchy and that's not cool.

-
by Tanya @ 2/19/2004 12:49:00 PM

Well, certain people made me realise how pathetic and stupid and immature I am. So I've decided to try and turn myself around and do something for the good of mankind. And yeh, I've become a bit of a wildlife activist.



Look at that dolphin, actually it is a porpoise. It actually intrigues me alot because it looks so much more different compared to other species. What really caught me was it's eye, it kinda looks like a human eye and in that picture it looks so sad :( It is an endangered species that only lives in the Gulf of California and is being killed off by being caught in fishing nets etc. Apparently, if it continues to be like that, the species will be extinct in about 10 years :(

Anyway, I've become a part of WWF, if you would like to join go here

-
by Tanya @ 2/18/2004 04:44:00 PM

Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about
most.

PLEASE RATE


What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla

-
by Tanya @ 2/17/2004 06:43:00 PM

'I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams and tonight, it's only you and me'

I'm in another one of my sadness moods. I sit here crying to the lyrics of emotional songs that relate to my problems. Sometimes, it just feels like wierdness. Anyway, I'm missing everyone so much so that's probably the reason why.

Sometimes, it just doesn't seem real that I've moved away and the whole world's gone upside down. But it is real and I have to face every single piece of the new reality I'm facing. People say that things change for the better, but I think that doesn't apply right now.

I'm pretty worried about Ben aswell. I knew that there would be a bit of driftness after he went back to school and even though I was preparing myself for it, I'm really hurting inside. As much as he says he wants to talk to me he can't because he's so busy with sport/homework whatever. As much as you think this might sounds stupid but, I really hurt from this whole experience. I know this probably sounds really selfish, but he really does have no time to talk to me at all. It's heartbreaking. It's just gayness how he has no time to talk to me anymore.

Well, I'm bored, how about you?

-
by Tanya @ 2/16/2004 09:56:00 PM

Oh the lonliness of Valentine's Day. Today (sorry I forgot to post on the ACTUAL 14th) I did nothing, bummed around on the computer all day. I felt incredibly lonely today though and all those cheesy romance movies that I would love were being played on television all day.

I had the biggest desire to hold someone close to me today. Yes, poor Tanya dear, sitting alone by herself, in the corner, typing hard on her computer. Well, on a happier subject; I've found a new person to share the idol worship corner and it's Liz Phair! She rocks! Hmm, what else can I think of, oh yes, I actually experimented with make up other than black today, it's kinda gay, but oh well, I'm not really into anything like that anyway. Well, farewell people. cheerio.

-
by Tanya @ 2/15/2004 01:06:00 AM

*I don't really have green or red eyes btw

-
by Tanya @ 2/12/2004 11:24:00 PM

When I think about it, I realise, that no matter how bad things get, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I don't need suicide to escape from all my problems, because it will just cause more problems, with friends and family. Especially Ben, he says that if I died, he'll die and that's terrible because he deserves so much more than that. Sometimes I feel that I treat him so bad, by trying to pick fights and being a cunt around him. But, I realise, he really really cares for me, no matter how sad I am and I love him for it. And now, for once in my life, in this fraction of time, I'm not worrying about anything...so I'm all Happy as Larry :) But I am soo tired right now so, now I'm worried about my lack of sleep. :P

-
by Tanya @ 2/12/2004 11:30:00 AM

oh btw, Essie's wicked 16th party is tonight, fucking spewin I can't go. Boo That.

-
by Tanya @ 2/07/2004 08:01:00 PM

sorry, i've really got nothing to rant about so i'm going to be all boring like for the while. Tomorrow I'm going to Nowra to go shopping or whatever, then I'll probably go to Bega as well. They're both shitholes, but oh well, unlucky me.
Triple J's Hottest 100 Volume 8, fucking rocks, especially Dirty Jeans by Magic Dirt. Well, this is Tanya being boring, signing out. Cheerio. Oh and surprise surprise, people actually ask questions on my advice site! :D fucking stoked!

-
by Tanya @ 2/07/2004 08:00:00 PM

Thank god. Ben has forgiven me! I love him so much! We had a nice chat tonight and I miss him so much.
The whole reality of everyone but me going to school sunk in today and i've cried my eyes out over and over. Even though things with Ben are all good and i'm all happy, I still feel really sad that I cannot be with my other friends. Oh well, cheerio.

Argh and all you random people, ask me questions on my oh-so-cool advice site...come on, it's sick, I swear!

http://realisticadvice.blogspot.com

-
by Tanya @ 2/05/2004 10:56:00 PM

Oh yay, new season of Charmed starts tonight!

-
by Tanya @ 2/05/2004 02:40:00 PM

Sorry for not posting much, but I've been so bored lately. I've decided to put my bordem to good use and help others:
http://realisticadvice.blogspot.com is my new creation of helping people. Yep, ask anything you want. I'm sick of being cooped up at home and not talking to anyone now that all my friends have gone back to school!

I'm currently fighting with ben, he's not talking to me, I'm crushed.

-
by Tanya @ 2/05/2004 12:42:00 PM

well..I confronted Ben about him being all distant-like and, I guess it helped.
It lead into a nice conversation of me being a dreamer and him being mr.serious, but yeh, it helped me let out a sigh of relief.

can't say that all the stress has been relieved though =\ i've tried my hand at gardening and listening to music that's waaay quieter than the music I usually listen to. I've officially claimed 'Spirited Away' as my favourite all time movie and the soundtrack, is...bloody brilliant!

mmm, so I am sitting here, sipping a nice cup of hot tea and listening to the soothing sounds of Spirited Away =) Cheerio.

-
by Tanya @ 2/02/2004 09:28:00 PM

It's my worst nightmare, it appears to me that Ben is drifting away from me, and fast! I'm getting more and more sadder every conversation I have with him. I'm really stressed right now, because I continuously worry about him. *Cries* I miss him so much! I would have to say I've been stressed all week, constantly having little cries and panic attacks..gah it's out of control!

I found some wicked Angelina Jolie quotes today, this one is my favourite:
"I feel like we're here to learn about each other. Sometimes, I think I'm too passionate, but that's the only way I know how to exist"
It's my favourite because that is exactly how I think and feel about myself. Especially that passionate part.

*sniffs* I love Ben and nothing right now could ever stop that.

-
by Tanya @ 2/02/2004 06:59:00 PM